I haven’t gotten myself to post a blog in a while,
Have I quit thinking and reflection and connection entirely? Hell no.
Have I stopped writing anything? No- I have written and discarded THRICE
Have I not had the time? Maybe, Life was hectic. But I did write, just not good enough. 

I had dedicated time packets to get myself to write consistently.
And even in a crazy schedule the past couple of weeks, I did manage to put myself in front of this very screen typing the duration.
Which might not seem like much, but for me it’s a tiny slither into progress.

I have always been the person who slept with a notepad by her side, to scribble gibberish when deep inspiration hit during my usual 3ams.
As days get hectic, I tire into sleep, train myself to show up in as many places as possible. Use more logic and just not crash of a burn out.
I am training myself to show up and do something, even when it does not feel right or wait for motivation to hit me.
I am training to trim my monkey mind. And the more I push myself into letting go, delayed gratification, do something for 2-3 mins and then find the flow to finish it however bad I want to give up mid way or procrastinate.

And here I am today wondering, Am I over stimulating myself too much?
Is this knocking down my creativity and not giving inspiration space? 

Chaos inspire me too often, forces me to follow that one trail of thought and just create while the world around me may be burning.

Responsibility does not take away fun from your life. It lets you say no to things that don’t align with your personality and goals, teaches you enjoy completely but at your time. It gives you more freedom with just enough caution and consideration so you can make well rounded choices. 

Can we build this sweet spot with discipline and creativity?
I have began to believe things are not two sides of the same coin, rather 2 ends of a sea-saw. We all have both ends, and it’s all a game of finding what works for you.
I like a routine, and having set times to complete tasks, manage the day and try to maximise on your energy pockets through the day. 

However, this got redundant and frustrating after a few days, too rigid or flexible enough to let you slip up.

And it’s been all of us! 

We all struggle to balance this and we all have been told to manage it all over lives. No one tells us hoe because it’s personal and each one has to figure it all out on their own or loose their mind. Yada yada.
ALL FAIR. 

But can we please stop looking at this like opposite forces pulling at is from two side like a damn stretchy band.
Of course the recoil will be tough and too much tension will break us.
Can it not be a spicy cocktail where we bend the sweet and heat, add the salt to taste and shake it on our tunes.
We have always been taught to give our power away to situations, because it’s easy and makes us so gullible to mass manipulation.
Take your time, mess up a little and push your borders yourself.
Stir up a few shitty cocktails until you hit a Bar- pot. Jill-pot if you may.
I know I just did 😉